


The Party

by princessmera



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, One Shot, Romance, diego has no rights here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:48:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25241896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessmera/pseuds/princessmera
Summary: An exploration of 4x05: The Party had Diego not interrupted Jessica and Justin in the kitchen.
Relationships: Jessica Davis/Justin Foley
Comments: 10
Kudos: 28





	The Party

**Author's Note:**

> a request! anyway. this just made me hate the way jesstin got done dirty in s4. i wrote it in an afternoon.

“Jess,” he said softly, “do you think we’re ever gonna get out from under this?” I hope so, she thought. For his sake. For her sake. For everybody’s. Their faces were inches away, and the only thing that kept her from kissing him was that he smelt like he was drenched in tequila and beer. He was drunk. Maybe she was a little tipsy too.

“Do you miss me?” She whispered, and he was caught by surprise. He nodded his head slowly, his eyes staying on hers. Jessica’s brow knitted together and she sighed. She reached up and put her hand on the side of his face and ran her thumb over his cheekbone until there was the smallest hint of a smile on his face. Then she leaned in and put her forehead against his. “I’m sorry I let it get like this,” she whispered to him.

“It’s my fault,” he said. “Because I’m just… I’m fucking stupid.”

“No,” Jessica told him carefully. “No you’re not. This isn’t your fault.”

He pulled away, and there was a blank empty look in his eyes. “Isn’t it? It’s my fault we’re like this. I was the first person on the tapes. I killed her. It was my fault. I was fucked up when you called me. And Bryce died because I didn’t answer. It’s my fault he’s dead.” Jessica’s heart broke, and she hoped he would just stop there, but his guilty drunk rambling only continued, gaining more momentum and more self hatred. “And if I had picked up then Zach never would have hurt him. And Zach wouldn’t be all fucked up. And if I hadn’t killed Hannah, then Clay wouldn’t be all fucked up. And if I had stopped Bryce at your party–“

“Stop!” Jessica was wide eyed, staring at him. “None of that was your fault!” She reached up and held his face in her hands. “Don’t take the blame for that shit.”

He rolled his eyes, his reactions delayed. “Come on, Jess,” he said. “It’s true. Admit it.”

She shook her head defiantly. “I won’t. Because it’s not true.”

He scrunched up his face, tearing his eyes away from her and leaning back against the table. “Yeah it is,” he said slowly. “Cause I’m just a worthless junkie, and the world would be better off without–“

“No,” she cut him off. “Don’t ever say that. I know you don’t believe that.” She saw his lips turn down, quivering like he was about to start crying. And he was wasted so the crying wasn’t gonna be pretty. She reached out to him again and put her hand to his neck, moving his face so he looked right at her. “I wouldn’t be better off without you. I would be miserable.”

He scoffed. “Don’t lie to me,” he said, smiling even though his eyes were glassy. “You moved on pretty fucking quickly.”

Jessica’s face twisted and she dropped her hand. “You broke up with me. What the fuck did you expect me to do?”

“I didn’t break up with you,” he said slowly and hoarsely. “I needed time for myself. I needed to get better so that I could be good enough for you.” He shook his head. “I thought you’d understand. But, obviously you don’t.”

Jessica stared at her feet, seeing his blank expression from the corner of her eye. “You didn’t make that clear.”

He shut his eyes, and a tear fell from the corner of his eye. “I shouldn’t have to. I just got out of rehab. I just got clean. I never told you I didn’t love you. I never told you I didn’t wanna be with you.” He shook his head. “I thought you’d understand recovery since it’s all you ever fucking talk about.” When she didn’t respond, he slid his back down the bench until he was sitting on the floor. He drew his knees up, sitting in the pool of spilled alcohol and rested his forehead on his knees. Jessica stared for a moment before she followed, sitting beside him and crossing her legs.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered to him. “I was selfish. But… You didn’t make it clear.”

His shoulders went up and then down and then she heard his muffled voice. “I tried to be your friend. I tried to talk to you. I tried so hard. But you just pushed me away.”

She frowned. “You hurt me.”

“You hurt me, too.” Jessica stared at the wall opposite, sitting in silence. This wasn’t how she expected this stupid party to go. She just wanted to drink and have fun. She didn’t want her entire love life to come crumbling down in front of her. Because if it did, she chose Justin every time.

“I’m sorry, again. I really am.” She pressed her lips together, looking over at him beside her. “Let me help you,” she said. “Please. You need someone to be there for you.” His head came up then, and she stared at him. She reached out to him again, hoping he wouldn’t pull away this time. Her fingers gently touched his cheek, and she made sure he was staring at her.

“Do you love me?” He asked her softly.

“Of course I do,” she told him. With her hands on his face, she moved him closer so she could kiss him. The moment she did, and the moment he kissed her back, she closed her eyes and smiled. “This is like the parties we used to go to way back. You taste the same.”

Finally that made him smile. “Shit,” he whispered. “I’m kind of wasted.”

She bit her bottom lip. “Yeah,” she drawled. “But I forgive you.” She reached around and kissed his cheek instead. “I doubt you’ll remember any of this tomorrow.”

He chuckled, “I hope not.” When he smiled, she ran her thumbs along the crease in his cheeks to the corners of his smile. “You look really pretty tonight,” he said, then he shook his head. “I mean, you look pretty every night. But I’m talking about tonight. Specifically.”

She giggled at his drunken rambling. “Thank you,” she said. He took her hand from his face and kissed her palm.

Then, out of nowhere, he started to cry again. “Fuck,” he whispered, his mind going somewhere else completely. “Matt and Laine are gonna kill me for this. And Clay’s high. But if I tell them Clay’s high then he’s gonna hate me. But if I don’t tell them then I’m grounded, and they think I did it. And then–“

“Whoa, whoa,” Jessica stopped him. “Slow down. What’s going on?” Her hands dropped from his face, taking a tear with them as they fell. “What did Clay do?”

“He’s high.”

Jessica’s eyes widened. “He’s high? You’re joking. No way. Not Clay.” Wasn’t that kind of shitty? To lie about doing drugs and then do them when your roommate is a recovering addict?

Justin nodded. “And he’s an asshole when he’s high.”

“I can imagine,” Jessica said. She watched his eyes and there was something left unsaid. Something deeper. She wanted to reach out and hold him, she wanted to fix him, and make sure he was sober and healthy. She wanted him to be the person he was trying to be.

“I need to get home,” he said. “I need to see my mom.” Those two weren’t the same anymore. He was trying to make a choice.

“I think you need to go home,” she told him. “You don’t wanna be in any more trouble.” He stared at her, thinking in his own head but getting lost in her eyes. She watched him, waiting. Looking from his eyes that had a faraway look in them to the tear stains on his face and the frown on his lips. She wanted to touch him again. She wanted to kiss him. But then there were loud footsteps at the door.

“What’s going on?” Diego’s voice boomed, his face screwed up in protest. He glanced between the two of them on the floor. “Why’s Foley crying? Did his new family find his stash?”

Jessica rolled her eyes. “Fuck off, Diego.” She scrambled to her feet, glaring at Diego from the side of her eye. She held her hand out to Justin on the floor but Diego moved between them and pushed her hand away.

“Jess, come on,” he said, his hands grabbing her waist to drag her off. “Why are you wasting your time on a shit faced junkie? He’s not worth it.” Jessica pushed him away from her, glaring.

“Leave me alone,” she snapped. “I can do what I want.” He stared between them both, from Jessica who seemed completely sober to Justin on the ground, his face stained with tears. He looked like shit, and Jessica could say that, because she loved him.

Diego stepped back to the door. “Tell me why he’s crying?” Jessica was silent in defiance. It wasn’t his fucking business. “Tell me, and I’ll let you get back to it.”

She snorted a mocking laugh. “You’ll let me?” Even Justin laughed from the floor. “Suck my dick, Diego,” she snapped. Diego’s face screwed up in anger and he stepped closer to her. In that instant, as Jessica stepped backwards in worry, Justin stood up between them. He was the only thing stopping Diego from doing whatever it was he intended to.

“I was crying because…” Justin started, then trailed off because it’s not like he could be honest.

Jessica sighed. “Because the Lakers lost their game tonight. It always makes him sad.” Justin looked back at her, not too drunk to misunderstand the stupidity of the comment. Jessica pretended to frown in concern, she touched his shoulder and looked at Diego. “I’m gonna take him home. And make sure he drinks some water.”

Diego scoffed. “Are you trying to piss me off?”

“No,” Jessica insisted. “I’m trying to look after my friend. Don’t you trust me?” Of course he didn’t. And he had no reason to. But she didn’t care about that. She cared about keeping Justin safe from his own issues. She would break it off with Diego soon. Maybe there was another way to keep herself safe that didn’t involve screwing some guy who looked down on someone who didn’t deserve it.

“Jess,” Diego said in a gentle sigh, “come on.”

She glared at him. “Diego,” she said harshly. “I think you need to check your woke-ness. You don’t own me and you don’t control me.”

He just smiled it off. “Whatever,” he said, rolling his eyes. He turned and walked out the door, leaving Jessica and Justin behind. They stood there in silence for a moment, then she turned to him.

“I am going to take you home,” she said. “I’ll walk you.”

Justin shook his head in defiance. “That’s dangerous,” he said. “It’s nearly midnight. There’ll be like…” He trailed off, thinking. “Child murderers.”

She made a face. “We’re both eighteen.”

He shrugged. “Murderers, then.”

She pressed her lips together, rolling her eyes. “I’m not afraid of whatever is out there.” She stared at him, examining his sobriety. He was better, but he wasn’t great. Could he even walk? “Come on,” she said to him, grabbing his hand. “Walk with me. Leave the drink.” He reluctantly put the red cup back on the bench and followed her out. They passed the piano that was empty then the table where people were still playing drinking games. They passed Winston on their way out and he winked at Jessica as she stared.

Justin was glaring. “He kinda looks like Timothee Champagne.”

Jessica looked back and raised her eyebrow. “Timothee Chalamet?” She corrected, and he nodded.

“Yeah, the Champagne guy.”

She nodded, deep in thought. “He does look like the Champagne guy.” She pursed her lips and stared at Winston as they walked into the next room. “And maybe the ghost of a Victorian boy.”

Justin gasped. “Exactly. God, you’re so fucking smart.”

Jessica rolled her eyes, smiling back at him. “And _you_ are wasted,” she said, dragging him out the door. They walked into the large front yard, seeing the cars covering the drive way.

“So fucking rich,” Justin mumbled and Jessica ignored him for the sake of his drunken intellect. Usually they could have a pretty decent conversation about the rate of poverty in the US and how it’s all the fault of capitalist industries. But he was too drunk. He’d probably go back into his depressive state and start crying about how he was worthless. Which Jessica couldn’t handle right now. And she didn’t wanna start.

“You walked here,” she said. “So, obviously we’re not far from your house.”

He nodded as she let go of his hand. “It’s like three streets away,” he said. She continued walking but he slowed to a stop, staring at the back of her head. “I want you back,” he whispered, and Jessica stopped too.

“I wanna come back,” she said, turning to him behind her. “But… Diego.”

Justin’s face screwed up. “What about Diego? Do you love him?”

“No,” she said dismissively. “No, I just… I need control.”

He stared at her, his brow knitted together. “How much control do you need?”

“Enough to know I’m not going to fucking jail.” They stared at each other a moment in the dark street.

Justin blinked, as if he had an idea. “I’ll tell them it was me. I’ll confess.”

Jessica rolled her eyes. “Don’t be stupid. What happened to staying out of jail, huh? I don’t want you to go down for a crime you didn’t commit more than I don’t wanna go down for it myself. You don’t deserve that shit.”

He shut his eyes in frustration. “Then what can I do?”

Jessica breathed a sigh and held her hand out to him. “You can walk with me,” she said gently. “Walk with me so I don’t feel so lonely.” And he did. He stepped up and took her hand in his own, watching her with concern. And they walked down the street, and Jessica didn’t feel alone. This was the one person in the world who knew all her secrets, and who understood so much of her pain. How she had ever abandoned him, she didn’t know.

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading :) lets all remember jess and justin the way they should be remembered. alive, happy and healthy.


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